Hazel Freeman's International Transgender Film Guide:Hazel Freeman's Personal Pages: My Story


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Hazel Freeman's Personal Pages: My Story

In the restaurant Hello: I'm Hazel Freeman, a transgender person, and I live near Cambridge, England. Since I emerged into the open in 1994, I've always found that my enjoyment of life is greatly enhanced; I have a lot more fun nowadays.

I've no intention of undergoing surgery, as I'm happy as I am. However these pages are meant to be friendly and entertaining.

I'm heterosexual and happily married; my wife knows: that's her on the left of the picture wearing one of my suits.

As long as it doesn't interfere with our ordinary life, then she'll co-operate with my extra-mural activities. For me, dressing has no sexual overtones nowadays. But this site is neutral on sexuality, and my philosophy is that as long as you don't harm other people, then do whatever gives you the most satisfaction in life.

At a house party at Southampton I'm not the most obsessive dancer, but I still sometimes go to disco events for social reasons; to be truthful though, I prefer to be somewhere that lets me hear myself think; I like to have a chat. This is a house party at Southampton, I'm the one wearing the red dress.

In Cologne My preferred image is classy and striking without being overdone. I dislike clothes that are dowdy, but I don't like to dress in a tarty way. For me the dressing is a means to social interaction, with other transgender people or the general public, and the visual image is quite important to how you're received, obviously. As you see, I like to get out of doors whenever I can. But the BMW isn't mine, it's a Cologne taxi; the taxi-driver took the picture. I'd had to get the dress in Marks and Spencer urgently, as I had just discovered that I'd left all my dresses behind; I'd arrived with only my undies and my makeup in the suitcase.

I adore travel and I have spent some time on business in a number of European countries and elsewhere; there's some description of my adventures in those places later. At one time, I was trying to work my way round every transgender group meeting in the UK as well, but that was proving a slow process. With the shift away from protected group meetings that has taken place, I have abandoned that intention.

Transformation, first time This is the earliest recorded picture of me, at Transformation, Birmingham, in 1994, where I had one of their change-aways. I'd wanted to emerge for a long time before that, in fact since my childhood, but never really had the opportunity apart from some very unsatisfactory fumblings in private. At the time of the picture I was called Nicki; I changed my name to Hazel Freeman in 1996.

The Transformation session was both a massive release and also incredibly frustrating. It was a release because it showed me what might be possible; the reasonably good image in the picture is of course the handiwork of the Transformation lady. The frustration came from a feeling of "What shall I do next?" The dressing was a great step forward, but it wasn't an end in itself, only a means to an end, and it took me quite some time to work out what I wanted to do.

My first real outing in "public" was at the Philbeach hotel in Earls Court, London, in late 1994. I'd been encouraged to go there by Jackie, although work commitments meant that she couldn't be there herself that first evening. I had my makeup done by Ann, a resident who did makeovers and so on. (She still does!) I'll always owe a debt of gratitude to Jackie for her encouragement and guidance. We were in contact through a Bulletin Board System, BBS, a sort of forerunner of the Internet in those primitive days.

Jimmy in the Philbeach bar The Philbeach was a very good starting point for social trannying; the little basement bar, run by the friendly Jimmy, was always very busy, and there was a wide mix of people to talk to. The music wasn't too loud, either, and there is a little garden out the back where you could go when the weather was warmer. I used to stay overnight in the hotel and take the tube in to work the next morning.

The next outing was also independent, to Transessex at Chelmsford (now renamed Transliving). I met Angela Harper there, and Angie has always been very encouraging and a great friend.

In Earls Court Road The Philbeach and Transessex became my regular outing places for over a year. At the Philly, Jackie (left in the picture) usually took charge and introduced everyone who didn't know everyone else, and made newcomers feel at their ease.

Most times we went for an outing from the Philly to an ordinary pub mid-evening; so a gaggle of us would set off to Earls Court Road. The area was and is very cosmopolitan, with a lot of tourists and visitors, and we often got photographed by them; no doubt to tell the folks back home about typical London life.

In the bar of the Blackbird The destination was the Blackbird pub in Earls Court Road, which was about three-quarters of a mile from the Philly itself; it was a big rambling spit-and-sawdust London pub (I think it's been gentrified a bit now) and the thrill or being out in public was always enormous. The clientele then were mostly regulars who became quite used to seeing us, but there would always be one or two casual drinkers who weren't acclimatised to us yet, and it was fun to watch their reaction.

At Scarborough 1995 In 1995 I went to Scarborough to Roses weekend do there; you arrive at these things on Friday and leave on Sunday morning; there's typically 60 or so trannies, quite a lot of them with their partners, and you're dressed all the time, of course. I made some good friends with whom I've stayed in touch from those days.

It was quite a milestone, and it offered the opportunity to show yourself out of doors in daylight for the first time. This can be an educational experience, because it tests all the theories you have in your head about the public's reaction. On the journey home I wept most of the way, though, for emotional reasons I didn't entirely understand at the time.

On the seafront at Scarborough Nonetheless I went again the next year, so this is me on the seafront in Scarborough in November 1996, looking windswept.

On this occasion we went to a local pub one evening; they had a two-man cabaret, one playing an organ and one singing and doing jokes; and there was at least one coach party in, so it was quite busy. We made something of a stir when we arrived, and the entertainer was in the middle of some jokes. He didn't add us to his repertoire, but at the end of the jokes, he announced the next item, community singing.

Interestingly enough it was going to be divided, the women singing one part and the men singing the other. He explained this in words of one syllable, and only then did he consider us; he looked at us balefully and said in a friendly way, "And you lot can sing whichever part you like"

Scarborough 1995 After a year or so of practice, my image was improving. After that I started going to tranny events all over the UK and later to Europe on business; so the rest of my story appears in the other pages of this website.

pregnant If you've got this far, then you probably already understand my philosophy of life, which is to make it as pleasurable as you can, provided you don't do any harm to anyone else. I believe that being transgendered gives many of us a better chance of enjoying life.

I enjoy doing new things, and as you will see from some of the photographs in this website, I get about as much as I can. I love travel, and seeing new places and people.

I'm quite tall and I don't pass, but I don't find that this is a great handicap; I still do most of the things I want to do, and I find that the public are generally very accepting of that. Or maybe they're just intimidated by my height.

This picture was when I was expecting the first baby.

I like corresponding with other transgender people and if you want to email me please do so, whether you live nearby or far away; I answer email straight away, unless I'm away from home.

My email address is shown on the introductory "Start" page. Send me an email; but please make sure it has a meaningful title ... not just "Hi!" because I get a lot of spam and it's important that your mail should stand out.

The rest of this section of these pages is about my early adventures travelling.