Fistik Gibi Masallah (1964, Turkey)

A Turkish film based on Some Like It Hot.

We follow the fortunes of our two heroes, who are third rate musicians in Istanbul. They are struggling to find work, and there is a lengthy preamble showing their rather poverty-stricken lives in Istanbul. They seem to have work in a night-club but the manager of the joint is in big trouble with the owner, who is obviously a gangster of some sort, and the manager is in fear lf his life. Our heroes are called in by the gangster and he wants them to do something illegal, but they refuse, and Mr Big is not pleased. They go to their agent hoping for some different work but it is useless.

Another night comes and the conflict between the manager and the gangster is heightened, and the manager is in big trouble. Our heroes hide and they are not noticed by the gangsters at first; and when the manager is not co-operative enough he and his colleagues are shot. Our clumsy heroes knock a cymbal over and reveal themselves at this point and it is obvious that they are going to be killed too ... but just then a police whistle sounds, and they take the opportunity to run for it and escape.

They commiserate with one another, and don't know what to do as the gangsters will be on the lookout for them (as they were witnesses to the murders), but one of them has seen an advertisement in a newspaper for a girl band that is recruiting. So he phones the promoter and, putting on a girly voice, he gets work for the two of them on a cruise ship.

We soon (27 minutes in to the film) see them in drag and they go to the ship to report. While they are on board trying to find the bandleader, they are approached by a girl in the role of Sugar (from Some Like It Hot ... I will use those character names here). Sugar is played by Türkan Soray, a fabulously successful actress in the Turkish film industry. They strike up a friendship immediately and when she hurries on, her sexuality makes our heroes forget that they are "girls" for a minute.

Sugar has found the bandleader -- a severe looking middle aged woman -- first and as she is checking all the girls, she stops Sugar to warn her that smoking is strictly forbidden. Sugar laughingly replies that she doesn't smoke. (I presume smoking is made the forbidden sin here because most Turkish people are Muslims for whom alcohol is forbidden by their religion: in Some Like It Hot, Sugar was a near-alcoholic.) Our heroes assure her that they are non-smokers, so everything is fine and they join the other girls. They all seem to be in a private saloon, and everyone joins in girlish greetings, and the two men enjoy this to the full.

However a few minutes later in the lavatory they come across Sugar smoking, and she confesses that she can't survive without a cigarette, despite the rules of the bandleader.

Later we are having a rehearsal and Sugar is the singer and dancer; while she dances, though, she drops a packet of cigarettes and the bandleader notices it, and demands an explanation from Sugar. Things look bad, but "Daphne" (Izzet Günay) steps forward and says that the cigarettes belong to her. The bandleader is suspicious but accepts this, and Sugar is off the hook -- for now. She signals her gratitude to Daphne.

Soon it is bedtime and all the girls seem to be in the corridor in their nighties, saying good night. Our two settle down in bunk beds in their own cabin; but Sugar appears; she wants to thank Daphne for saving her, and she also wants a smoke. Daphne is delighted to see her, and they are both puffing away happily when we hear the bandleader approaching. Sugar snuggles down behind Daphne in the bunk; the bandleader comes in and she is highly suspicious, but seeing nothing to complain of, she eventually leaves.

So Sugar is free to continue smoking, and what more natural than for the other girls to be brought round for a party. "Josephine" (Sadri Alisik) wakes up and joins in too, and there are several minutes of fun (which seems to involve a lot of tickling, giggling and shrieking). While Daphne is enjoying herself with the girls, Josephine takes a quiet few minutes with Sugar separately, and Sugar reveals her hope that one day she will be able to settle down with a millionaire. Josephine pretends to read her palm and tells her that she will meet one sooner than she thinks. But all this can't go on ... the bandleader has been alerted to suspicious goings on and is apparently coming to see what it is. All the girls hurry back to their own cabins [and we can see the bandleader's shadow as she waits just round a corner for her cue]. But just as all the girls have disappeared, she comes and enters our heroes' cabin and there they are, smoking like chimneys but otherwise totally innocent.

The band arrives at the ship's destination, and a lecherous man ("Osgood") has been chasing after Daphne and Josephine on the ship. He is here at the hotel too; there seems to be some free time for sightseeing, and there is a slapstick scene where Osgood is chasing an unwilling Daphne, while Josephine has paired off with Sugar. However everyone now transfers by coach to a luxury hotel where they are due to perform.

There doesn't seem much work to do at the hotel, and all the girls gather round the pool and play a girly ball game, with Daphne in the lead looking rather masculine in a one-piece swimsuit.

But now we see that Daphne; but we notice that the Josephine is at the poolside in male mode. He contrives to get talking to Sugar and tells her he is a billionaire, and that she is invited to his apartment. (When I got a taxi from Istanbul to the airport a few years ago, the fare was over 3 million Lire, so I suppose you have to be a billionaire to be anyone in Turkey.) Daphne isn't too pleased by this development, and later on she takes Sugar back to the room, where Jo(sephine) hasn't had time to change back into female mode; so he has to submerge in a bubble bath with only the wig for disguise.

At last we see a public performance by the band, and Osgood has already spoken to Daphne on the phone, saying that he is looking forward to seeing her perform; and sure enough he has a front-row table. He sends a bottle of champagne to Daphne, but she passes it on to Sugar.

Shortly afterwards we see that Jo(sephine) has taken Sugar to a wealthy man's house and somehow got in. This was an abrupt cut from the hotel performance scene and I didn't see any explanation. Joe pretends that the house belongs to him; when Sugar asks for the radio to be turned on, Joe isn't sure where the radio is for a minute, but after some fumbling he finds it, and they embrace and kiss.

Meanwhile Daphne and Osgood are dancing the night away, getting more and more rapturous, and indeed Osgood produces a pistol and fires it into the air in his enthusiasm. Developments are left to our imagination and we move to the hotel room, where Daphne is still on a high from her evening, and Joe is critical. They argue, but it is cut short when Sugar appears and enthuses to Daphne about the wonderful billionaire she has spent the evening with.

We move forward to the next evening, and our heroes are getting their instruments ready when they hear familiar voices -- it is the gangsters who shot the night club manager. They turn away, but one of the gangsters comes over and engages them in conversation and he is persistent and amorous and the girls have to run for it. In their room, Josephine speaks to Sugar on the telephone; she is full of remorse about her evening with the billionaire -- will she ever see him again? In fact she comes round to their room for a smoke, and Josephine discloses that it was him, as Joe. A slapstick chase sequence follows, and eventually our heroes end up on the dance floor for safety in numbers, but the gangsters follow them there, so they are still in danger. But Osgood is there too and decides to protect them; he produces a pistol and fires it into the air, and headbuts two of the gangsters, incapacitating them.

Security are called and everyone is going to be thrown out; our two heroes go out and get into a luxury car which belongs to Osgood; he himself and Marilyn follow and they all drive off. Josephine removes wig and everyone lives happily ever after.

HF November 2009

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